There is a lot to benefit from gaining an understanding of our inner selves. Digging into our own subconscious or unconscious mind is not as challenging as we might think, and it helps us gain valuable insight into our motivations. We learn how and why we believe wat we believe and do what we do. Discovering the benefits of this information starts with a fundamental understanding of:
The Important Role of Each “Type” of Mind
The reaches of our mind work together in tandem to make up the whole of who we are. With the help of a trusted coach, you can harness the power of this perfect synchronicity by understanding the role of each:
Our conscious mind contains our thoughts and memories, as well as the feelings, beliefs and desires that we are aware of at all times. The conscious mind deals with the rational thought processes that we have at the forefront of our human experience. With our conscious mind, observations are consciously observed and pondered.
Our subconscious mind, like the unconscious mind, has an unlimited storage capacity. The terms subconscious and unconscious are often used interchangeably. To be clear: the subconscious is the state between consciousness and unconsciousness.
Thoughts reside here until they manage to attract the attention of consciousness. You cannot recall something until someone asks for it. Once you start to dig deeper – voilà, it will pop out of nowhere, like a long-forgotten memory. Automatic skills like for example our ability to drive a car, to type or to play an instrument are also typical subconscious behaviors. It is a learned skill, but it becomes an automatic skill.
Our unconscious mind holds psychological content that we are not aware of: the primary source of our behavior. It holds feelings, beliefs, patterns, actions, and suppressed positive or negative memories such as positive and negative emotions and traumas.
The content of our unconscious mind is unable to work their way into the conscious mind without the help of therapeutic tools.
The “Real Captain” of Your Ship
It is a misconception that we rule our lives with our conscious thoughts and decisions. We like to think that if we ignore what is uncomfortable, and focus on what we want, we can overcome anything. What we don’t realize is that we cannot function solely on intentions and willpower. By pushing experiences and feelings away, we only send these to the depths of our unconscious mind.
This is why the beliefs our unconscious mind holds don’t correspond with the beliefs we hold in our conscious mind. It makes it extremely difficult to behave in accordance with our true selves because we have essentially pushed parts of it away.
Meanwhile, our unconscious beliefs (the stuff we pushed away) created by fears, memories, and traumas develop coping mechanisms. This in turn instructs our conscious mind, which then dictates our behavior. So, in essence, this is why we act often from a place of fear we are unaware of rather than a place of authenticity.
We can intend to behave in a certain way towards others. Meanwhile our unconscious mind is triggered by experiences and fears from the past that are stored in our unconscious mind, influencing the way we experience our current circumstances. We unconsciously project past feelings onto current circumstances. This subsequently changes our intended behavior. And because we are not aware this is caused by our unconscious mind, we tend to blame the cause of this changed behavior on the other person or the circumstances, being our trigger. And because we feel bad about this unintended behavior, we feel bad about the person or the circumstances, while the cause is seated in the belief system of our unconscious mind. It’s not easy to take accountability for something we are not aware of. We don’t realize that we are the cause and therefore think we are the victim, of other people and circumstances. We don’t realize we can take back power by addressing the root cause within us.
For example: A person falls in love with someone else. They intend to treat their new partner in the best possible way. Though, as a child they only got positive attention, affection and acceptance from their parents if they would adapt to their parent’s moods and expectations. This would happen at the cost of their own feelings and observations which they would keep to themselves, just to receive much needed love. Because of these past experiences, they are now in such need of (their new partner’s) love that they are very afraid of losing it. Instead of treating their new partner well as they consciously intend, they start to control the new partner’s behavior towards them: the smallest hint of irritation will be experienced as rejection and will set of an old, repressed fear and anger towards their parents, now directed to their new partner being the trigger and therefore in their conscious mind the cause of these feelings. Simultaneously, the new partner cannot be allowed to express anything but unconditional love because any other behavior triggers their fear of losing this love.
Another way this can work out is a fear of flying, which can be caused by a past trauma where someone felt very unsafe because they were not able to be in control. The circumstances don’t necessarily have to be directly related as in “I survived a plane crash, so now I have a fear of flying.” Someone may have experienced moments in childhood or adulthood where they had no power over what happened to them due to external circumstances. This could’ve been due to another person’s poor judgement or something more tangible like a locked door. The idea of being in another situation, such as an airplane, of not being in control can very well cause intense anxiety.
So, the real captain of your ship is the unconscious mind! It influences your conscious thoughts without you even realizing it.
Our conscious feelings, motives, and decisions are strongly influenced by our past or suppressed unconscious experiences. With tools like hypnosis and neuro-linguistic therapy, we can access the unknown that houses our deepest desires and needs.
How Does Neuro-linguistic Therapy Affect the Areas of My Mind?
Many people are unaware of the benefits of connecting with the unconscious mind. If we take the last example of fear of flying, we can see that the belief:
I need to be in control…
…was a helpful coping mechanism at certain times. It may have helped you feel safe enough to carry on and survive whatever you were going through at the time. However, this coping mechanism loses its effectiveness when applied to all circumstances. Once we become aware of the root cause of the fear, we can use neuro-programming tools to restructure the brain so that you can be more discerning about when to use certain coping mechanisms.
Exploring ones past has a reputation of being a slow and painful process. It doesn’t always have to be that way. The tools I offer allow me to access memories without requiring my client to re-live them. Rather, memories are recalled like a story. The techniques we employ together invite the brain to change the story and let go of the negative charge attached to the memory. What’s unique is that we do not make suggestions to the brain regarding the content of the story. Together, the client and I guide their brain to freely rewrite the story it holds. In some cases, we address several similar stories the unconscious mind holds. It is actually quite a wonderful and fast process, with liberating results.
By applying neurolinguistic techniques, we become aware of our perceptions, thought patterns, and behavior, enabling us to make lasting changes and achieve better results. We remove the obstacles that hold us from achieving the intentions we have with our conscious mind.
This work ultimately unlocks and releases many of our limiting beliefs. We are left with the courage to move forward towards realizing our true goals and dreams. By connecting with the unconscious parts of our mind and rewiring the parts that no longer serve us, we become better, stronger, more mature versions of ourselves. We step bravely out of the limiting framework we unknowingly held in our unconscious minds, releasing ourselves from anxiety. From this place, we can grow, change our relationships, our experiences and our lives for the better.
Contact me to answer any specific questions you might have during a free 20-minute consultation.
Esther van Rein C.Ht.
© Esther van Rein